They say, “the first year of marriage is the hardest.” To be honest, I’m not really sure who “they” are, why “they” are qualified to give me advice, or why “they” should be any concern of mine. My first 51 days and first year of marriage was (and is) pretty awesome!
Why do I have a different opinion? Let me rewind. Marriage prep began well before I even met my husband. It began when I was born – here me out. My parents were my first glimpse into what marriage is. Thankfully, my parents – although not perfect – work well as a team. I witnessed how they worked together, worshipped together, fought through disagreements, and always came together in the end. They are high-school sweethearts and are still married today. Their relationship shows me that it is possible to have a life-long, happy, committed marriage. At times I saw the struggle, but at the end of the day I learned something contrary to popular belief – it is possible to stay happily married for life. I know it to be true, I’ve seen it happen, and so did my spouse. Now what about today?
Well, the prep didn’t just stop at home. Years of dating, finding out who I am, losing who I thought I was, and re-discovering who I am in Christ was great training in change management. Not to mention the books I read, the advice from happily married peers and elders, and excellent pre-marital prep. By the time we hit the alter we knew as much as we could about ourselves, or habits, expectations, family history, financial outlook, and a host of other things that would help us reach agreement together. Our preparation was thorough, so all we had to do was live by our agreement – and here I am, here we are- happily typing this blog!
This first year of marriage wasn’t hard- it was just an adjustment of two lives and thankfully, God was in the center of it all. To clarify, no, we didn’t live together, no we didn’t sleep together, and no, we didn’t even kiss! Pretty crazy according to today’s standards, right?! And yet here we are, understanding that this first year was truly a blessing. I couldn’t have married a more patient, respectful, silly, happy, servant-leader.
I believe that trusting God with every aspect of my life, and my spouse doing the same, is the key to a successful first year of marriage. Through it all, through it all, our eyes are on Him…and it is well, with us. 😊
Antoinette | Frolic & Courage