One beautiful evening just before bed a thought popped in my mind (as thoughts often do right before bedtime), “there are so many things to do as a single woman, I should make a list of all the stuff I can do, just because I can!” And so began the birth of this list.
It is by no means comprehensive but it contains ideas, good ideas, on how to make the most of your time as a single woman. Trust me, I’ve done – or I am in the process of doing- a number of these. Feel free to add your own in the comments, too!
1) Travel. To foreign lands, weekend adventures, to new places…just get out and see new things! A fresh take on a new city is a tried and true way to readjust your perspective and step outside of the daily routine of your box. Groupon, Expedia, TravelZoo, Kayak, Viator, and other travel sites make it incredibly easy and affordable to travel. It doesn’t matter if it’s by plane, train, Uber, or foot. Just go!
2) Decorate. Design your living quarters as you see fit. If you want curtains- go for it! That memory foam mattress with a four poster bed? Done! The perfect color scheme, placemats, and furniture? Already ordered. Fix your house the way you feel most comfortable. There’s no reason to hold off until you get married and move into the fantasy mansion you’ve been dreaming of in order to get started. Make your apartment your own now and don’t worry about the future. The added benefit? If you’re open to the possibility of a relationship, according to insight given by my close male buddies, potential male partners subconsciously walk into a woman’s home and think, “if I marry her- this is what I’d come home to every day.” In addition, the married women I know say that once married, their husband is more likely to give them full creative license to their future home because they are confident in their woman’s taste. Sounds good to me!
3) Buy Stuff. Let me first say this doesn’t mean going into debt. It means not holding your needs hostage because you’ve always wanted to put the B. Arthur chip n’ dip tray on your future potential wedding registry so you continue to host parties where guests are forced to eat from the greasy, messy, germ-filled potato chip bag. You want a Dyson? Buy it. Fine China? Buy it. A sixth pair of black heels? Buy it. Buy what you want within your means now so you don’t have to have a “talk about your spending habits” with someone later.
4) Spend quality time with friends. This is a no-brainer but still needs to be said. You literally have ALL the time in the world, so hang out with those you care about and who value you in return. You can stay indoors and talk on your couch for hours, host a book discussion, go eat brunch, etc. The goal is to pour love into your friends’ lives because they’re worth it and it’s just plain, good ol’ fashioned fun! As time goes on friends move, take up new endeavors, get married, die, have kids…so make the best of each moment now.
5) Learn something new. All this time and nothing to do? I beg your pardon; there is plenty to do, like learn a new skill. You can learn whatever you want. Have you always wanted to learn how to surf or bake a layered lemon jello cake or how to communicate using sign language? Do it! I am using my spare time to become fluent in French. Next up, Spanish. I’ve also expanded my cooking skills, taken art classes (charcoal drawing, photography, pottery, art history), picked up a professional degree and a few certificates, learned sexy dance moves in a Reggae/Bellydance hybrid class, and learned how to properly lift weights and stick to a successful workout routine. Learning doesn’t stop just because you’re by yourself; it enhances the experience because you can truly be in tune with your development.
6) Join a group. There are plenty. There’s something for everyone these days from religious to secular. With popular sites like Meetup, Eventbrite, Facebook, chruch life/singles groups, and city weekend guides there really is no excuse.
7) Live by yourself. It’s just awesome. You have the freedom to come and go as you please, to clean (or not), to sit in blissful silence or crank up the music and dance wildly at a self-hosted party. Your space = your rules.
8) Stop worrying about finding a man. “I once heard this story about a woman who was always looking to find her husband so she went trolling for men at this bar and when she got there POOF! He just walked in, they started chatting, and now they’re so in love and happily married with 2 precious kids, a fabulous three story home, and, like, no problems” – said NO ONE EVER! Live life and if one happens to come along, great. If not, that’s still great, too. Keep doing you, boo!
9) Read a book. Or 50. Or an article, blog, or newspaper. You have the time, curiosity, and willingness to engage in topics other than the mundane. Here’s a list of some of the books I’ve read (don’t you dare judge me!):
- StrengsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath
- Art History vol. I & II by Marilyn Stockstad and Michael W. Cotten
- The Shack by William P. Young
- Complete Guide to Money by Dave Ramsey
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- The Holy Bible
- Boundaries & Boundaries in Dating by Drs. Cloud and Townsend
- Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
- Good Grief by Granger E. Westberg
- The Good & Beautiful series by James Bryan Smith
- Adventurous Kate blog
- Boundless website blogs/advice
- …or create your own blog to read!
10) Get your life together. You know, like, take care of your issues. Handle your business. I highly suggest everyone go to counseling. It’s great to talk to a knowledgeable person whose sole purpose, nay, their job, is to help you be the best version of you possible without judgement and without retaliation. It truly is just as good as it sounds. Think you’re pretty well off, have never been, and don’t need counseling? I’d say go anyways (to talk to someone about lying and being delusional) because everybody on this planet has issues. Is it jealousy? Breaking a pattern of meeting the wrong guy? Family drama from childhood? What career to take? Can’t stop worrying about everything? Sort your issues out with a professional and reap the rewards. Extra points are given if you find a trained, certified, degree holding, professional spiritual counselor to chat with you about life AND faith- it’s a double dose of goodness waiting to happen.
Whatever you decide to do, know that doing it alone affords you the freedom to blossom into the person you want to become and THAT is life worth living.